El gran aumento de las tarifas del cuidado de adultos pasa factura mental y física a los familiares.
A Melissa Fisher se le caía el cabello a mechones. Fue uno de los primeros indicios de que cuidar de sus padres mayores estaba afectando a su bienestar.
“Pensé que me pasaba algo malo”, afirma Fisher, que trabaja en el equipo de comunicación para miembros de Kaiser Permanente en Portland (Oregón).
Le preocupaba que pudiera tener un problema de la sangre o cualquier otra enfermedad. Programó una cita con Elizabeth Liles, M.D., quien le pidió a Fisher que le contara lo que le pasaba en la vida.
“Y se lo conté todo”, comenta Fisher.
A su padre le habían diagnosticado demencia frontotemporal con variante conductual, una forma progresiva de demencia. Su comportamiento errático y los cuidados que necesitaba causaron mucha presión en la familia.
Por esa misma época, su madre empezó a tener Parkinson y cada vez necesitaba más su ayuda. Fisher se encontró lidiando con las cuestiones médicas complejas de sus dos padres.
“No relacioné la caída del cabello o el insomnio con todo lo que les estaba pasando a mis padres”, cuenta Fisher. “No obstante, la Dra. Liles sí lo hizo”.
“Las exigencias de cuidar a un ser querido pueden causar estrés emocional y físico a la persona cuidadora”, indica la Dra. Liles.
Según Caregiving in the U.S. 2020, un estudio llevado a cabo por la National Alliance for Caregiving y la AARP, se calcula que unos 53 millones de estadounidenses mayores de 18 años son cuidadores de una o más personas que necesitan ayuda debido al envejecimiento, una enfermedad o discapacidad.
La mayoría cuida de una persona mayor con enfermedades crónicas y discapacidades.
“Estos cuidadores pueden sentir ira, tristeza, agotamiento o cambios de comportamiento”, explica la Dra. Liles. “Si no se vigilan, pueden provocar otros problemas de salud física o mental”.
Eso fue lo que le ocurrió a Fisher, que finalmente empezó a hacer psicoterapia por sugerencia de su médico.
“La Dra. Liles me escuchó”, afirma Fisher. “Se dio cuenta de la pena, el dolor y la incapacidad para cuidarme a mí misma que sentía mientras todo se me tiraba encima”.
La psicoterapia ayudó a Fisher a tomar distancia de las necesidades de sus padres e identificar lo que necesitaba para sí misma. Se dio cuenta de que si no cuidaba primero de ella, no podría seguir ayudando a sus padres.
“Aprendí que tenía que dedicar tiempo para mí, pasara lo que pasara. Me di permiso para sentarme fuera con una taza de café, dar un paseo o incluso darme tiempo para ducharme”, afirma. “Tuve que volver a mi punto de partida”.
Las preocupaciones de Fisher también disminuyeron cuando sus padres se hicieron miembros de Kaiser Permanente. Hasta entonces, estaban en un sistema de salud en el que cada servicio iba por separado.
“Pasaba demasiado tiempo tratando de organizar su atención médica”, explica. “Llamaba a un proveedor tras otro y tenía poco tiempo para pensar en otra cosa”.
Cuando se inscribieron en Kaiser Permanente, a Fisher le resultó mucho más cómodo acceder a la historia clínica electrónica de sus padres, enviar preguntas a sus médicos mediante mensaje y pedir surtidos de medicamentos en línea.
A medida que la enfermedad de su padre avanzaba, Fisher aprendió a crear nuevos momentos con él.
“Buscaba cosas que pudiéramos hacer juntos y que nos permitieran ser nosotros mismos”, explica. “Ponía la música favorita de mi padre y me sentaba con él. Nada más. Simplemente sentarnos y escuchar música juntos”.
Fisher asegura que lo que más aprecia son los últimos meses antes de la muerte de su padre.
“A través de su enfermedad, mi padre me hizo el mayor de los regalos”, afirma. “Me dio el regalo de aprender a ir más despacio, de aprender a estar tranquila en el momento presente”.
Consulte nuestros recursos y apoyo disponibles para cuidadores para aprender a dar lo mejor de sí mismo a sus seres queridos sin dejar de cuidarse en el proceso.
Los cuidadores deben prestar atención a estas señales para evitar el agotamiento mental y físico.
Si nota alguno de estos cambios en usted, hable con su médico o consulte estos programas diseñados para ayudar a los cuidadores.
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