December 13, 2024
How to stay happy and healthy over the holidays
Sammie LaMont Moss, MD, a psychiatrist for Kaiser Permanente in Colorado, advises agreeing to avoid hot-button conversation topics.
While family holiday arguments can feel like tradition for some households, there is a healthier way to gather.
While family holiday arguments can feel like tradition for some households, there is a healthier way to gather, according to Sammie LaMont Moss, MD, a psychiatrist at Kaiser Permanente in Colorado.
Learning how to do that is all the more important in the aftermath of a divisive election season.
“After the election, I’ve had a lot of patients beginning to ponder how they’re going to handle the upcoming holidays,” said Dr. Moss. “I’ve had some patients sadly consider not attending family gatherings altogether because there’s always been a history of some challenging conversations.”
Back in October 2024, the American Psychological Association reported that 69% of adults said the presidential election was a serious source of stress, and 77% said the future of the nation was. The election is over, but the stress it created likely remains for many people.
Instead of skipping time with family, Dr. Moss urged patients to consider strategies to get along.
“I’ve been trying to encourage them to empower themselves,” he said.
If you know there’s a potential for conflict, Dr. Moss advised reaching out to family members ahead of time. Establish an agreement that the difficult or hot-button discussions won’t be part of the event. This can create a safe, comfortable, and predictable environment.
And if you’re the one contacted and asked to modify your behavior, Dr. Moss recommends being open to doing so.
If family cannot agree ahead of time, self-care might include skipping the family gathering, Dr. Moss said. That’s acceptable.
“Overall, we want to be around friends and family, but at the same time we have to take care of ourselves,” he said. “We have to do what is in our own best interest.”
However, for most people, flexibility is probably the best approach — especially during the winter holiday season, which can create feelings of loneliness, sadness, or depression for some people.
“It’s probably an even better time to make sure that we do maximize our interaction with people who are supportive,” he said.
It might be time to reach out about care if you are:
- Wanting to isolate yourself socially more often
- Struggling to function as you typically do
- Finding it difficult to wake up in the morning
- Feeling unmotivated
“Those are all signs to let you know that it is time to speak out, to let people know how you’re feeling, to reach out to your providers or your support system,” Dr. Moss said.
Get more information about mental health care.
