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I am a prisoner to my phone and am constantly on a quest to use it in a healthier way—especially at night, when I’m either trying to unwind before bed or already tucked in with the lights off, tempted to get in one more quick scroll before I doze off (it’s disgusting). I’ve experimented with deleting all social media apps and locking myself out of my email (I can’t remember any of my passwords, so I log out and am conveniently email-free). I have the “night shift” feature activated so my screen adopts a hazy orange hue at 10 p.m., reminding me it’s time to chuck my phone out the window so I can sleep—and yet I still reach for it all of the damn time.
Why is it such a struggle for me (and, I assume, you) to log off at night? Because phones are extremely addictive, Christina Lee, MD, a psychiatrist and the regional medical director of mental health at Kaiser Permanente in Baltimore, tells SELF. Even if you just finished scrolling and don’t really need (or want) to watch or read anything else, your brain will crave more—so you pick up your phone again and tap-tap-tap. And studies have shown that staring at that little screen before bed, in particular, is no good: It can turn you into a stress ball, suppress melatonin, and generally sabotage your sleep. On the flip side, limiting how much you use your phone at night can dramatically improve the quality of your rest, along with your mood.
No matter how much you want to reel in your nighttime phone usage (and trust me, there’s nothing I want more), it can be tough to fully disconnect. I’ve tried every trick in the book, and whenever I make progress, at some point, I inevitably whip open Reddit or Instagram—just for a few minutes, I tell myself—and get sucked right back in. If leaving your phone on the other side of the room just isn’t cutting it, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s what to do if you cannot resist the siren song of that stupid little device when you should be powering down.
Identify why you become a phone fiend at night.
One of the keys to changing a behavior is understanding why you do it in the first place, Sarah Domoff, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Albany, tells SELF. If you can clarify what’s keeping you attached to your phone at night, it’ll be easier to come up with strategies to curb the habit, Dr. Domoff says.
So take a moment to think about what’s driving you to peruse the SwiftlyNeutral subreddit (as if I didn’t consume enough Taylor Swift content already) or swipe through TikTok reels after dark. Maybe you aren’t tired and you’re filling up time until you feel ready to sleep. I, for example, start googling random questions that inexplicably pop into my head when I start to get drowsy (a form of bedtime procrastination, I suspect). Once you figure out what’s going on, you can come up with a game plan.
If you (like me) reach for your phone to answer life’s biggest (and most pointless) questions to fill the void, give other, more relaxing nighttime activities a go instead—like, say, a soothing podcast or a good book—that’ll keep your brain engaged yet calm (so, maybe skip that suspenseful true crime series). If you’re struggling with not feeling tired at night, getting more physical activity can help you nod off (just 30 minutes per day may help you sleep better, research suggests), as can waking up bright and early every morning.
Make your phone less tempting.
One way to ditch your phone after hours is to make it less fun to use (because, let’s be real, it’s so damn entertaining).
Step one: Switch to grayscale mode at night (to save you a google, here’s how to do this on an iPhone and Android). Research shows that removing all color makes your phone less enticing, which, according to Dr. Lee, can motivate you to use it less, thereby improving your sleep and well-being. (I just did this and am pleasantly shocked by how turned off I am by my colorless screen.)
Another trick Dr. Lee recommends: Wrap a hair tie or rubber band around your phone—it’ll act as a physical barrier between you and mindless swiping. There’s no clinical research behind this strategy, but it makes sense: A rubber band or scrunchie will make your phone less appealing, and it’ll also stop you from automatically scrolling without even thinking about what you’re doing.
Team up with an accountability partner.
If you have a roommate, partner, friend, or colleague who’s also glued to their phone at night, consider joining forces. According to Dr. Lee (and research), people are way better at making behavioral changes when others are involved.
Once you’ve teamed up with someone who also has an unhealthy relationship with their phone (we’re all gonna be okay), bake in a reward to motivate you to lay off the screens at night. Dr. Lee suggests making a game of it: Set specific rules around when or how you can use your phones. Maybe the goal is to go two hours—say, between 8 and 10 p.m.—without tapping your lives away. Or perhaps the challenge is to simply see who can use their phone less after dinner.
Monitor yourself and check in with your pal about how you did the next day (or at the end of the week). And don’t forget to set a prize first: Maybe the winner doesn’t have to do the dishes, for example, or they get to pick the next fun activity you guys do together. If you both succeed, even better. Find a reward you can both enjoy!
If it was easy to stop using your phone all the time before bed, I wouldn’t be writing this article—and you wouldn’t be reading it. It might suck to admit to myself that I can’t live without my precious device at night and need a new evening hobby (downloading a few books on my Nook right now). But if that means I won’t be quite as glued to my phone before bed (or quite as exhausted when my alarm goes off the next morning), I’m here for it. You are capable of unwinding without your phone—getting there just might require switching it to the very hideous, very unpleasant grayscale setting. There are worse things in life. I think.
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